Archive for the ‘Mobile Funny Sms’ Category

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Very Nice Naughty question SMS

May 17, 2012

Can I Ride?

A couple were in their bed ready to make love when their four year old son walked in an asked Daddy can I ride on your back, The Dad said no, when the wife told her husband it’s OK honey he doesn’t know what’s going on, so he agreed. As they got in to the throws of passion and the wife started moaning and breathing heavy the little boy said, Daddy you better hold on yesterday when she did that me and the Milkman both almost hit the floor.

Husband and wife

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says? I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold Me.?
The husband says? WHAT???

The wife says, you must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can’t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, but you don’t even play tennis, but OK, if you like it then let’s get It.?

The wife is jumping up and down? She’s so excited; she cannot believe what is going on.

She says? I’m ready to go, let’s go to the cash register. The husband says, No – no – no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff? The wife’s face goes blank? No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while?

Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says? You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man.?

 

A father and his son go into the grocery store

 

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.” The son then asks his father, ”What’s the 6-pack for?”

The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.”

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for…..” 

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Amazing Naughty Jokes SMS

May 17, 2012

Like A Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover, Steve, when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.”

She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.

“Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Martins bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much; I got one for us, too.”

No more was said about the statue — not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

“Here,” he said to the ‘statue’. “Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Martins for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.”

A Sweet Ass Story

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shafts all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Heart and Love story Sms

Heart: I’m going on emotional strike. I’ll no longer produce any feelings without proper compensation.

Successful People always have 2 things on their lips:
Silence & Smile.
.
..

Smile to solve the problems.
Silence to avoid the problems.

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much:
Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

Teacher: Why does ‘The Great Wall of China’ features in the ‘7 Wonders of the World’?
Pappu: Because it is the first and only Chinese product which lasted for so long.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent. It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

There are 3 chambers in my heart.
1 for God;
1 for Dad;
1 for Mom;
Oh what about U, dear?
Sorry no place 4 U in my heart bcoz U’re my heart!

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Naughty Jokes For Mobile

April 30, 2012
  • this is your mobile operator we can see that you are too dump to use your mobile please put it on the floor and start jumping on it remzozo

  • It’s better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your lifesanthu

  • A husband was stung by a bee on his pnes and it became He came at night,He came at night, explored my body,got on top of me,
    touched me,
    he bit, sucked, swalowd,
    when he was satisfyed,
    he left,
    i was hurt,
    BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!
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    Very good!
    Intelligent Ho!
    Kal A-B-C-D sikhenge…

oT TnAW T2UL I
oT TnAW T2UL I
+THpinboop YA2
!..2mA3rb T33w2
! .. niH)A2 2’rU
Confused na? Read it in a mirror.. Now…
Bye!

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